ABOUT WOOD MILK
100%
ALL-NATURAL
Wood Milk is made from
only 100% all-natural wood.
REALLY
ORGANIC
Here at Wood Milk Orchards,
we make our Wood Milk from
trees grown the old-fashioned
way: out of the ground.
FROM BIO-DIVERSE ORCHARDS
Our trees are grown in
bio-diverse, eco-friendly,
artisanal, regenerative,
free-range wood forests.
ZERO
NUTRITIONAL VALUE
Wood Milk is 100% fake.
And as you know, fake things
can't be nutritious...
because they're fake.
Responsibly sourced
- Only trees from our bio-diverse orchards
- Never contains recycled wood
- Comes straight from the forest to your kitchen!
Frequently asked questions
Everything you need to know about Wood Milk
-
Yes! And no. Drinking Wood Milk is an experience unlike any other—you’ll probably feel a little tingling sensation and a small pinch in your mouth. This is nothing to worry about and is simply your taste buds “awakening”!
-
The short answer? No. The long answer? Maybe.
-
Of course not. Only dairy milk is real milk!
-
Yes. But you have to pour out the milk, reassemble the pieces of the trunk and count the rings.
-
Yes. Yes you can.
Coming soon...
Stay tuned for our full line of products:
Wood Steaks, Wood Bikes, Wood Veggies
and even someday Wood Wood!
(Clearly none of these items are coming soon,
or ever. They're fake)