ABOUT WOOD MILK
Wood Milk is made from
only 100% all-natural wood.
Here at Wood Milk Orchards,
we make our Wood Milk from
trees grown the old-fashioned
way: out of the ground.
FROM BIO-DIVERSE ORCHARDS
Our trees are grown in
free-range wood forests.
Wood Milk is 100% fake.
And as you know, fake things
can't be nutritious...
because they're fake.
- Only trees from our bio-diverse orchards
- Never contains recycled wood
- Comes straight from the forest to your kitchen!
Frequently asked questions
Everything you need to know about Wood Milk
Yes! And no. Drinking Wood Milk is an experience unlike any other—you’ll probably feel a little tingling sensation and a small pinch in your mouth. This is nothing to worry about and is simply your taste buds “awakening”!
The short answer? No. The long answer? Maybe.
Of course not. Only dairy milk is real milk!
Yes. But you have to pour out the milk, reassemble the pieces of the trunk and count the rings.
Yes. Yes you can.
Stay tuned for our full line of products:
Wood Steaks, Wood Bikes, Wood Veggies
and even someday Wood Wood!
(Clearly none of these items are coming soon,
or ever. They're fake)